Dear Diary,
Note to self….. never drive from Brisbane to Sydney and then back again 2 days later ever again…. it brings out the demons in me!!! I cant be held responsible for what would happen to Pat if he was actually in the van right now…. We left him in Sydney…. And by that I mean that the small guy booked a flight back after driving down…. So did Tim and Luke…. That leaves me, Ross, Maggie and Scott, who I like to refer as the best, most awesome, people in the band…. People who do not have any Tim like traits at all to do the drive back…. We’re almost two thirds of the way back…. I was under the impression that with the reduced number of people in the van the space of said van would increase exponentially raising the comfort factor to stratospheric heights….. I was wrong…. Due to annoying safety features such as seatbelts n what not it still is a literal pain in the ass to try and make use of that space. I’ve tried so many different positions to try and get comfortable I could write a book of solo Kama Sutra…. If I had of been sexually stimulating myself…. Which I wasn’t… I promise…. But if anyone is turned on by discomfort then I’m sure my book would help.
Last night we played at Oxford Arts Factory in Sydney with Man Man…. Man they were awesome…… there was one point in the set where I was just like “Man! Man Man are awesome!” and Scott said “what???” and I said “Man! Man Man are awesome!!!!!” and he said “yes man, Man Man are awesome.”
It was a beautiful moment….. their set was so tight and flawless that its actually made us kind of want to rehearse and practice more….. It’s a weird feeling….. for me to actually want to get off my ass and do something constructive…. It doesn’t happen much… we shall see how it goes.
We don’t have a show for 2 weeks now….. more spare time than I know what to do with…. I need to get a hobby I think….. like quilting…. I’ve heard stories about the ladies that frequent quilting parties….. they love their chardy if you know what I mean…..
Now its time for todays lesson….. now I know how your all down with internet speak n whatnot diary… and internet speak is all about destroying the English language…. Luckily its not having much luck hurting the bastard child that is “Fucking Australian Language mate.” But you should never forget the importance of punctuation….. a general rule is the more full stops the better but not many people can pull that off………………. See…………… oh wait I think I’m getting it……………… shweet………….. but most importantly you have to know that exclamation marks and question marks are not interchangeable…. For example if someone says to you on the MSN messenger “LOL STD!” what would you think? I know you know what LOL means and the STD part is just confusing but because of the exclamation mark I would think the whole statement would mean “hahahahaha Shit That’s Different!” but if the MSN message was to say “LOL STD?” then the whole statement would mean “haha your so funny, would you like to have sexual relationships with me and contract a Sexually Transmitted Disease?” to which you would reply “no thanks Miss Hilton… that just doesn’t sound like fun to me.” or in internets speaks “NTMH TJDSLFTM”
GTG
Love pete.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Winding it ...
Dear Diary,
Lately the band hasn’t been doing gigs, we’ve finished our EP tour. I can’t remember if I’ve filled you in about the shenanigans at Adelaide. I’ll quickly bring you up to speed.
Adelaide…. The city of churches…. Capitol of South Australia…. Capitol of my heart….. For dinner we had….. well I cant remember…. It was most probably a liquid meal….. the show was kickass! It was the last show of the tour so we tried to be like good n shit….. I helped by often losing my balance in the little corner at the back of the stage where I was set up and leaning on the amazing velvet (possible fakvet (the term I just made up for fake velvet)) back drop curtain thing there. Saved my ass… and my dignity… what little I have left. The after party was at the Battery Kids sweet party house…. There was a lot of dancing…. And 3 live chickens…. And they stayed alive till after we left… that’s my story an I’m sticking to it.
On Friday we drive down to Sydney to play a show on Saturday at the Oxford Arts Factory with Man Man…. At least I think its at the oxford arts factory…. I don’t remember things to well…. We are driving down for the first time in quite a while…. Normally we be high rollin’ n shit flying economy to our destination….. that shit is P.I.M.P…… but this time we’re doin the drive as I like to call it…. Its more than likely that I will be hated by everyone by the time we get to Byron Bay…. I don’t do well with ‘Doin the Drive’
In other news…. We be writing new songs…. Workin hard n all that…. Maybe one day we’ll play them live…. Maybe…. Also I met my first prostitute the other day….. and by met I mean she started talking to me at the train station…. I don’t mean it in the context of “Yeah dude we hit it off…. I totally met that shit!” she was really nice…. A real lady…. Of the night…. She pretty much straight up said “I sell my body for money!” I was like “cool, do you get decent sick leave?”
She didn’t find me funny.
Love pete
Lately the band hasn’t been doing gigs, we’ve finished our EP tour. I can’t remember if I’ve filled you in about the shenanigans at Adelaide. I’ll quickly bring you up to speed.
Adelaide…. The city of churches…. Capitol of South Australia…. Capitol of my heart….. For dinner we had….. well I cant remember…. It was most probably a liquid meal….. the show was kickass! It was the last show of the tour so we tried to be like good n shit….. I helped by often losing my balance in the little corner at the back of the stage where I was set up and leaning on the amazing velvet (possible fakvet (the term I just made up for fake velvet)) back drop curtain thing there. Saved my ass… and my dignity… what little I have left. The after party was at the Battery Kids sweet party house…. There was a lot of dancing…. And 3 live chickens…. And they stayed alive till after we left… that’s my story an I’m sticking to it.
On Friday we drive down to Sydney to play a show on Saturday at the Oxford Arts Factory with Man Man…. At least I think its at the oxford arts factory…. I don’t remember things to well…. We are driving down for the first time in quite a while…. Normally we be high rollin’ n shit flying economy to our destination….. that shit is P.I.M.P…… but this time we’re doin the drive as I like to call it…. Its more than likely that I will be hated by everyone by the time we get to Byron Bay…. I don’t do well with ‘Doin the Drive’
In other news…. We be writing new songs…. Workin hard n all that…. Maybe one day we’ll play them live…. Maybe…. Also I met my first prostitute the other day….. and by met I mean she started talking to me at the train station…. I don’t mean it in the context of “Yeah dude we hit it off…. I totally met that shit!” she was really nice…. A real lady…. Of the night…. She pretty much straight up said “I sell my body for money!” I was like “cool, do you get decent sick leave?”
She didn’t find me funny.
Love pete
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Just Like Paris Hilton
Dear Diary,
The in colour tour is almost over….. we have one more show in Adelaide tomorrow night….. I hate to admit it… but I think I like Adelaide…. Don’t tell anyone diary. Oh fuck it you can tell whoever you want….. the last time we were there me ross n tim “hired” bikes for free and rode around for the good part of a day…. Sounds amazing doesn’t it…. I’m not normally big on the whole exercise thing but for some reason I found it enjoyable…. We went to the museum which was made a whole lot more rad because I was light headed from excercisation which made old squiddy (they have a big ass replica deep sea squid there) seem so much more weird and exciting.
Last Friday was our second show at the hopetoun….. yet again it was Paris Hilton hot….. which in this particular context means really fucking hot…. in the context of her face not so much but its all in the way you use it….. the show sold out as well as Thursdays which made us all giddy like school girls on lemonade…. I came prepared tho…. I had a towel and a change of clothes….. it was a good plan but I didn’t count on scott and tim grabbing my towel…. The one that I use after showering and wiping their sweat all over it…. Still they got ranga germs on them…. Sucks to be them…. And me… cause I’m a ranga…. The humanity!!!
The next day at about 8 in the morning I find myself at a park with a long neck, (I’ve adopted the NSW term…. Sorry Queensland) sitting on a park bench and patting random dogs that walked by….. people don’t seem to trust you when your in a situation like that…. They look at you weird…. Probably thinking “oh my god that guy is going to try and wear my puppy like a puppet!!”
It only occurred to me once and I didn’t go thru with it….. they were over reacting.
Cut to 2pm and we’re finally on our way to Maitland to play at Sculpture in the Grass…. A small ass festival on a private property….. it took us quite a while…. Longer than it should…. Pat kept freaking out thinking we had gone to far so kept turning off…. We had directions to get there but they weren’t good enough for him…. Meh we got there…. But it was half way thru Dead Letter Chorus’s set….. fuckin pat! I noticed something weird that day….. after 2 days of sweating my ass off by just standing up that afternoon was actually cold….. like as in Paris Hilton’s face cold….. and it got worse…. To the point that after the set I was rugged up in a fairly warm jacket…. but still had to dance to keep warm….. not that I cared that much…. But it was a shock to the system…. like paris Hilton’s mastercard maxed out shock to the system….. at the end of the night Matt and his dad (owners of the property) introduced us to Marg.
Marg is a awesome…. She’s cute, she’s friendly and she likes to roll in shit….. she is their 350kg pet pig….. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pig that big (lol rhymed) and we only saw her lying down…. She was too lazy to get up…. It was some time after midnight and she’s only 2 years old…. That’s late for a 2 year old pig…. But I did get to pat her…. Note to self…. Always wash your hands after patting a pig…. Its not in their nature to keep clean and hygienic.
On the drive back while stopped to urinate on the side of the road me and ross rolled down the embankment that dropped down from the edge of the road…. It was covered in long grass so we thought it would be fun….. turns out there were little tree stumps all thru it that we couldn’t see….. it was kinda like a really bad massage…. Like Paris Hilton in bed bad massage.
Love pete
The in colour tour is almost over….. we have one more show in Adelaide tomorrow night….. I hate to admit it… but I think I like Adelaide…. Don’t tell anyone diary. Oh fuck it you can tell whoever you want….. the last time we were there me ross n tim “hired” bikes for free and rode around for the good part of a day…. Sounds amazing doesn’t it…. I’m not normally big on the whole exercise thing but for some reason I found it enjoyable…. We went to the museum which was made a whole lot more rad because I was light headed from excercisation which made old squiddy (they have a big ass replica deep sea squid there) seem so much more weird and exciting.
Last Friday was our second show at the hopetoun….. yet again it was Paris Hilton hot….. which in this particular context means really fucking hot…. in the context of her face not so much but its all in the way you use it….. the show sold out as well as Thursdays which made us all giddy like school girls on lemonade…. I came prepared tho…. I had a towel and a change of clothes….. it was a good plan but I didn’t count on scott and tim grabbing my towel…. The one that I use after showering and wiping their sweat all over it…. Still they got ranga germs on them…. Sucks to be them…. And me… cause I’m a ranga…. The humanity!!!
The next day at about 8 in the morning I find myself at a park with a long neck, (I’ve adopted the NSW term…. Sorry Queensland) sitting on a park bench and patting random dogs that walked by….. people don’t seem to trust you when your in a situation like that…. They look at you weird…. Probably thinking “oh my god that guy is going to try and wear my puppy like a puppet!!”
It only occurred to me once and I didn’t go thru with it….. they were over reacting.
Cut to 2pm and we’re finally on our way to Maitland to play at Sculpture in the Grass…. A small ass festival on a private property….. it took us quite a while…. Longer than it should…. Pat kept freaking out thinking we had gone to far so kept turning off…. We had directions to get there but they weren’t good enough for him…. Meh we got there…. But it was half way thru Dead Letter Chorus’s set….. fuckin pat! I noticed something weird that day….. after 2 days of sweating my ass off by just standing up that afternoon was actually cold….. like as in Paris Hilton’s face cold….. and it got worse…. To the point that after the set I was rugged up in a fairly warm jacket…. but still had to dance to keep warm….. not that I cared that much…. But it was a shock to the system…. like paris Hilton’s mastercard maxed out shock to the system….. at the end of the night Matt and his dad (owners of the property) introduced us to Marg.
Marg is a awesome…. She’s cute, she’s friendly and she likes to roll in shit….. she is their 350kg pet pig….. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pig that big (lol rhymed) and we only saw her lying down…. She was too lazy to get up…. It was some time after midnight and she’s only 2 years old…. That’s late for a 2 year old pig…. But I did get to pat her…. Note to self…. Always wash your hands after patting a pig…. Its not in their nature to keep clean and hygienic.
On the drive back while stopped to urinate on the side of the road me and ross rolled down the embankment that dropped down from the edge of the road…. It was covered in long grass so we thought it would be fun….. turns out there were little tree stumps all thru it that we couldn’t see….. it was kinda like a really bad massage…. Like Paris Hilton in bed bad massage.
Love pete
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Play in wetsuits!
Dear Diary,
While driving from Canberra to Sydney yesterday morning we had an in depth discussion about what our next film clip should be…. I decided that it will be western themed…. But instead of horses we will ride sheep…. And use sheep in acting roles such as the local whores…. The old jailer Robert…. And have a sheep playing honky-tonk piano in the saloon. You don’t have to tell me how amazing that will be…. I already know.
So far our tour has gone shwimmingly…. Brisbane show turned into a ridiculously long party…. Then we went to Toowoomba…. Which is somewhere south west of Brisbane…. The venue was only little but what it lacked in size it made up with technique…. After the show we went back to Mel from Little Scout’s parents place…. The next day I lost my shoes…. I could find a pair of black volleys like mine but they were size 9 not size 12 which I use to fit my feet in quite nicely…. Size 9’s hurt my feet.... then there was a big ass storm in Brisbane…. You know the one that’s been on the picture box all the time…. It was quite exciting…. So exciting in fact that I howled at the (lack of the) moon and tried to chew through my collar…. And ran up and down the hallway and skidded into the wall.
There is no real easy way to say this diary…. She sells sea shells from the sea floor…. It’s just impossible to say it really fast…. It gets so confusing…. Your mouth is all like “should I make the shhh sound or the sss sound?” then it gets so confused that it expels spittle and tries to invade a small Island nation and turn it into an imperial outpost….. You know how it goes diary…. You’ve been there…. We’ve all been there.
On Wednesday we flew down to Canberra.... apparently it’s our nation’s capital…. I had no idea either…. Once again we stayed in the back packers above the venue…. There were also two busloads of kids from Byron Bay staying there as well…. On the same floor as us…. Those little bastards…. Apparently someone in the band is fat… that came from one of those little wankers…. They were alright…. I love kids…. Not in that way… in the normal way… you know the kind where there’s no penetration….. the show was awesome… it was strangely packed for a Wednesday night…. After the show me an ross invited ourselves back to Megan’s place… who we had just met… went to bed at 4 or 5… I swear to god I had my alarm set for 8:30 so we could get back in time to check out of the backpackers but it fell between the cushions of the couch I was sleeping on and I didn’t hear it…. It wasn’t a big deal that we woke up at 10:30 and the other dudes had to pack up our stuff…. I mean who cares that you had to carry my underclothes an whatnot…. I’d do it for anyone of them…. Except Tim…. I’m so not a fan of that guy… I prefer more popular people.
Last night we played at the Hopetoun in Sydney… we play there again tonight…. We managed to sell it out…. I did hear someone say that they thought Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers were headlining so I think that might have helped…. It was soooooo fucking hot on stage….. it was so bad that I quit the band…. Then rejoined a minute later cause I was so delirious that I forgot what just happened…. I was so sweaty that I kept on sliding off shit… my fingers kept sliding off the keyboard keys…. My head kept sliding off my hand when I tried to look cool at the bar…. On the plus side I got to do a mega cool slide across a car bonnet.
So tonight we play the Hopetoun again…. I’m going to come prepared and wear a wetsuit this time…. I ain’t no foo’
Love pete
While driving from Canberra to Sydney yesterday morning we had an in depth discussion about what our next film clip should be…. I decided that it will be western themed…. But instead of horses we will ride sheep…. And use sheep in acting roles such as the local whores…. The old jailer Robert…. And have a sheep playing honky-tonk piano in the saloon. You don’t have to tell me how amazing that will be…. I already know.
So far our tour has gone shwimmingly…. Brisbane show turned into a ridiculously long party…. Then we went to Toowoomba…. Which is somewhere south west of Brisbane…. The venue was only little but what it lacked in size it made up with technique…. After the show we went back to Mel from Little Scout’s parents place…. The next day I lost my shoes…. I could find a pair of black volleys like mine but they were size 9 not size 12 which I use to fit my feet in quite nicely…. Size 9’s hurt my feet.... then there was a big ass storm in Brisbane…. You know the one that’s been on the picture box all the time…. It was quite exciting…. So exciting in fact that I howled at the (lack of the) moon and tried to chew through my collar…. And ran up and down the hallway and skidded into the wall.
There is no real easy way to say this diary…. She sells sea shells from the sea floor…. It’s just impossible to say it really fast…. It gets so confusing…. Your mouth is all like “should I make the shhh sound or the sss sound?” then it gets so confused that it expels spittle and tries to invade a small Island nation and turn it into an imperial outpost….. You know how it goes diary…. You’ve been there…. We’ve all been there.
On Wednesday we flew down to Canberra.... apparently it’s our nation’s capital…. I had no idea either…. Once again we stayed in the back packers above the venue…. There were also two busloads of kids from Byron Bay staying there as well…. On the same floor as us…. Those little bastards…. Apparently someone in the band is fat… that came from one of those little wankers…. They were alright…. I love kids…. Not in that way… in the normal way… you know the kind where there’s no penetration….. the show was awesome… it was strangely packed for a Wednesday night…. After the show me an ross invited ourselves back to Megan’s place… who we had just met… went to bed at 4 or 5… I swear to god I had my alarm set for 8:30 so we could get back in time to check out of the backpackers but it fell between the cushions of the couch I was sleeping on and I didn’t hear it…. It wasn’t a big deal that we woke up at 10:30 and the other dudes had to pack up our stuff…. I mean who cares that you had to carry my underclothes an whatnot…. I’d do it for anyone of them…. Except Tim…. I’m so not a fan of that guy… I prefer more popular people.
Last night we played at the Hopetoun in Sydney… we play there again tonight…. We managed to sell it out…. I did hear someone say that they thought Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers were headlining so I think that might have helped…. It was soooooo fucking hot on stage….. it was so bad that I quit the band…. Then rejoined a minute later cause I was so delirious that I forgot what just happened…. I was so sweaty that I kept on sliding off shit… my fingers kept sliding off the keyboard keys…. My head kept sliding off my hand when I tried to look cool at the bar…. On the plus side I got to do a mega cool slide across a car bonnet.
So tonight we play the Hopetoun again…. I’m going to come prepared and wear a wetsuit this time…. I ain’t no foo’
Love pete
Sunday, November 16, 2008
IN COLOUR EP TOUR
Dear Diary,
I just got my ass kicked by some mega sweet waves on a sunny coast beach…. Scott luke and I fought them with all our might but we were defeated…. Punches are largely ineffective against water….. we played at the Sol Bar last night…. Scientific studies have shown that the stage there was the hottest (temperature wise) place on the planet…… after we had deep discussions on a variety of topics such as reasons why Arnie makes a good Governor of California….. there are many to chose from…. He has great leadership skills that he picked up while he was leading warriors in conan the barbarian… and he was the first male human to ever give birth to a child…. And he is a family man- he has a twin brother who is height challenged and whatnot but Arnie still loves him unconditionally….. and he can fly a Harrier jump jet under conditions of extreme stress…. And he reduced his carbon footprint by covering himself in mud to reduce his heat signature so he could defeat the evil predator which I think, and Alex and Luke will confirm it too that they are traits of quality in a governor.
Last Friday we had to wake up at like Death o’clock in the morning (4am) and make our way to the Powerhouse to be involved in Reach Around Australiaaaaaaaa!!!!! With Triple J…. we covered some hot old chicks song Confide In Me….. I hope she liked it and wants to give us a present…. Maybe something she knitted…. Straight after we had to head to the airport to fly to Melbourne and then drive to Moorooduc…. Twas quite a party….. I met a real nice guy…. He was bald and had tats that had stretched with old age…. I think I saw a tat with the name Ralphonso in a love heart on his shoulder….. he was awful friendly…. I learnt a lot of new stuff from him…. Like I had no idea that there’s a spot on the back of my neck that if he was to backhand it I would be paralyzed for an hour or two and he could do what he pleased with me like put my hand down my pants so when I woke up I would be embarrassed or draw a couple of peni… what is the collective noun for penis…. Peni?? Penises? Or is it like sheep when they are both the same…. But he would draw peni on my face or maybe he would, and I quote “butt-f^$% me into submission.” But he was a real nice dude.
The next night we played Northcote social club in Melbourne…. Twas a sweet show…. After we had mature discussions about stuff such as the melting point of mercury and Steve Irwin putting his nuts on a crocodile…. Too soon???
Tonight we play The Zoo in our home town n shit yo…. Its going to be off the hizzle… we’re joined by our homies from Major Major and Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers…. I’m so in love with all of them…. I would most definitely cover myself in mud to reduce my heat signature and fight a predator to protect those guys…. And then I’d say shit like “Who IS YOUR DADDIE AND WHAT DOES HE DO???”
GET OUDDA DA CHOPPA
Love Pete
I just got my ass kicked by some mega sweet waves on a sunny coast beach…. Scott luke and I fought them with all our might but we were defeated…. Punches are largely ineffective against water….. we played at the Sol Bar last night…. Scientific studies have shown that the stage there was the hottest (temperature wise) place on the planet…… after we had deep discussions on a variety of topics such as reasons why Arnie makes a good Governor of California….. there are many to chose from…. He has great leadership skills that he picked up while he was leading warriors in conan the barbarian… and he was the first male human to ever give birth to a child…. And he is a family man- he has a twin brother who is height challenged and whatnot but Arnie still loves him unconditionally….. and he can fly a Harrier jump jet under conditions of extreme stress…. And he reduced his carbon footprint by covering himself in mud to reduce his heat signature so he could defeat the evil predator which I think, and Alex and Luke will confirm it too that they are traits of quality in a governor.
Last Friday we had to wake up at like Death o’clock in the morning (4am) and make our way to the Powerhouse to be involved in Reach Around Australiaaaaaaaa!!!!! With Triple J…. we covered some hot old chicks song Confide In Me….. I hope she liked it and wants to give us a present…. Maybe something she knitted…. Straight after we had to head to the airport to fly to Melbourne and then drive to Moorooduc…. Twas quite a party….. I met a real nice guy…. He was bald and had tats that had stretched with old age…. I think I saw a tat with the name Ralphonso in a love heart on his shoulder….. he was awful friendly…. I learnt a lot of new stuff from him…. Like I had no idea that there’s a spot on the back of my neck that if he was to backhand it I would be paralyzed for an hour or two and he could do what he pleased with me like put my hand down my pants so when I woke up I would be embarrassed or draw a couple of peni… what is the collective noun for penis…. Peni?? Penises? Or is it like sheep when they are both the same…. But he would draw peni on my face or maybe he would, and I quote “butt-f^$% me into submission.” But he was a real nice dude.
The next night we played Northcote social club in Melbourne…. Twas a sweet show…. After we had mature discussions about stuff such as the melting point of mercury and Steve Irwin putting his nuts on a crocodile…. Too soon???
Tonight we play The Zoo in our home town n shit yo…. Its going to be off the hizzle… we’re joined by our homies from Major Major and Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers…. I’m so in love with all of them…. I would most definitely cover myself in mud to reduce my heat signature and fight a predator to protect those guys…. And then I’d say shit like “Who IS YOUR DADDIE AND WHAT DOES HE DO???”
GET OUDDA DA CHOPPA
Love Pete
Sunday, November 2, 2008
And the tour goes on....
Dear Diary,
Today I washed my hair…. Now it gets blown in my face…. I hate wind… I also hate this heat…. I don’t do heat… well at least the sun heat…. It’s a well known fact that red heads are flame resistant… it’s one of the only good facets of this genetic defect which is red hair…. But that doesn’t mean you can go out and set hundreds of random fanta pants on fire…. I don’t want that on my conscious.
NEWS FLASH: “this just in, there has been wide spread reports… well at least two reports of innocent folk of the red head variety that have been set on fire for no apparent reason…. When questioned by police the assailants claimed to have been told that red heads have a natural resistance to fire on a blog and “just wanted to fucking try it out!” Doctors don’t hold much hope for the two men who are now red headed and red skinned abominations.”
“up next is a super special report on the percentage of blog writers who overestimate their audience numbers…. Reports have the figure as “quite high””
It is with heavy heart and somber body that I have to inform you that the Grates tour is now over… it will forever be known as the time “some dickheads invented the Trom-BongTM” and will forever be hated by my body for the lack of sleep that is caused me…. it wasn’t that I was partying… it was because I would stay awake for hours on end worrying about what outfit I should wear for the next show to try and stay on par with Patience….. just so you know I failed badly and for the few people who saw me in a gold body suit I’m sorry your life is ruined.
After running a few tests I have found that the ratio of fun had against the amount of time passed is the highest number I have ever heard of…… 27……………. Billion billion times eleventy six.
I can’t remember when I did the last blog and I seem to have forgotten how to use the internet to find out at this point in time…. In my mind this leaves me at liberty to make shit up….. doesn’t make sense to you??? Doesn’t surprise me…. you cant event count to 27…………….. Billion billion times eleventy six. So while waiting for our limo with its pool filled with caviar to take us to the airport I decided to check my stocks and bonds to see how they fared after the recent economic turmoil…… they did not fare well…. At all…. Turns out I am now worth roughly about 27……. Billion billion times eleventy six dollars….. I was so pissed I almost punched my highly paid dancing dwarf in the mouth...... after our first class flight on a conchord was over in about 27 minutes we arrived in sunny perth…. We then had to drive to Bunbury…. I have no idea where it is on a map because I was busy watching my dwarf dance in hot fondue…. After walking up the red carpet to the venue we had to wait around with the common folk drinking their…. What do they call those drinks…. I think they call them “fucking beers mate.” When we finally got to play we played our set of relaxing lounge-funk to a receptive crowd of respected individuals…. Then I partied like I was as poor as Bill Gates…. That poor poor man…. “oooh I own Microsoft… I’m rich n shit,” nobody cares William…. I own Mars bitch…. Not the company…. The planet.
Im bored of that now….. I can’t be held responsible for what I write….. I become a character and then they write thru me…. the show in Bunbury was quite raucous… it was a small venue and 450 people were crammed in there to party like it was…. Well a party…. After the gig we got shown to our rooms…. They were modest at best…. The rest of the night was filled with trombongs on the balcony and throwing a gridiron ball on the street down below….. the highlight was Ted nailing Brett (grates stage tech) sqware in the side of the face with a well thrown gridiron ball….. that effectively ended the night…. I had to go to the toilet at some stage during the night….. being the well prepared individual that I am I forgot to take a key or my phone with me…. if I had a decent memory that would have been fine…. But I don’t…. so I forgot which room I was in and didn’t want to knock on random doors….. so I slept on the couch in the lounge room place.
The next day we drove to Margaret river after climbing some big hill near the beach which was quite possibly the worst idea ever…. Although it did have one of those disc things that point the direction to random cities of the world….. and someone’s big nutsack…. The venue was freeeakin awesome….. they served the best food ever and were all super nice…. We had some time to kill…. Most normal people slept…. Ted went for a run cause he’s one of those disgusting healthy fit people…. Tim luke an pat went to a winery and the beach…. Apparently they are cultured…. Lies I tells ya! Lies! I’ve seen them do things that would make a bogan blush.* The show was the normal party that we had all come to expect from this tour…. It ended a lot earlier than usual… we ran out of rider and then just decided to go home and watch the Muppets in Manhattan…. Which is up there with Freefall starring Eric Roberts as one of the best films ever made.
Time was well spent on our causal drive towards perth…. We stopped at a boutique brewery for some delicious beer tasting…. A winery for some delicious wine tasting…. And a cheese shop for some delicious cheese tasting…. Then we made a great big convoy trucking through the W A! with the Vasco Era’s pimping van…. It may have looked good but our tarago owned it when drag racing at the lights…. Due to the fact that we were 5000 kms away from home and two hours behind I kinda assumed that they drove on the other side of the road…… boy was that a funny mistake…. I now have a statement to make….. “Perth nay all of WA that I’ve seen is kick ass!!!” its all pretty n stuff and green n watery and nice…. And the Capitol bar was absolutely shmucking packed…. The show was…. Well I’m not going to tell you…. You have to guess…. It starts with A and rhymes with foursome….. happy rhyming diary…. We were joined by the vasco era and the grates on stage for our last song to end our tour in happy happy fun times…. Then we joined the vasco era for our normal cover of sukkafish but for some reason were told to stay up for another song which we didn’t know how to play….. things kinda disintegrated… ending with me and ross on our knees hitting a cymbal that had fallen off its stand…. I was kinda focused on hurting the cymbal so I didn’t notice what was happening elsewhere on stage. During the grates set while most of us were up on the balcony we heard “and now the vasco era and the john steel singers are going to help us out!!” followed by cheers as only syd came out on stage as he was the only one near enough to get there on time….. lots of lols followed as we came out on stage for the last minute or so of the song…. But we made it up to him by actually joining him for 19-20-20 and ending the tour with a big drunken dance on stage. Was a whole lot of awesome fun n shit yo!
The next day me and ross had a romantic dinner of fish and chips as the sun set over the Indian ocean…. Then we touched the ocean… then ran away like little girls cause we didn’t want to get our shoes wet…. Somewhere along the way scott turned into an abusive pirate…. But he was nice to me…. I think he thought I was the reincarnation of Red beard cause I had forgotten my razor. Stupid pirate
Love pete
*I quite possibly could be thinking of something that I might have done and maybe just got kinda confused.
Today I washed my hair…. Now it gets blown in my face…. I hate wind… I also hate this heat…. I don’t do heat… well at least the sun heat…. It’s a well known fact that red heads are flame resistant… it’s one of the only good facets of this genetic defect which is red hair…. But that doesn’t mean you can go out and set hundreds of random fanta pants on fire…. I don’t want that on my conscious.
NEWS FLASH: “this just in, there has been wide spread reports… well at least two reports of innocent folk of the red head variety that have been set on fire for no apparent reason…. When questioned by police the assailants claimed to have been told that red heads have a natural resistance to fire on a blog and “just wanted to fucking try it out!” Doctors don’t hold much hope for the two men who are now red headed and red skinned abominations.”
“up next is a super special report on the percentage of blog writers who overestimate their audience numbers…. Reports have the figure as “quite high””
It is with heavy heart and somber body that I have to inform you that the Grates tour is now over… it will forever be known as the time “some dickheads invented the Trom-BongTM” and will forever be hated by my body for the lack of sleep that is caused me…. it wasn’t that I was partying… it was because I would stay awake for hours on end worrying about what outfit I should wear for the next show to try and stay on par with Patience….. just so you know I failed badly and for the few people who saw me in a gold body suit I’m sorry your life is ruined.
After running a few tests I have found that the ratio of fun had against the amount of time passed is the highest number I have ever heard of…… 27……………. Billion billion times eleventy six.
I can’t remember when I did the last blog and I seem to have forgotten how to use the internet to find out at this point in time…. In my mind this leaves me at liberty to make shit up….. doesn’t make sense to you??? Doesn’t surprise me…. you cant event count to 27…………….. Billion billion times eleventy six. So while waiting for our limo with its pool filled with caviar to take us to the airport I decided to check my stocks and bonds to see how they fared after the recent economic turmoil…… they did not fare well…. At all…. Turns out I am now worth roughly about 27……. Billion billion times eleventy six dollars….. I was so pissed I almost punched my highly paid dancing dwarf in the mouth...... after our first class flight on a conchord was over in about 27 minutes we arrived in sunny perth…. We then had to drive to Bunbury…. I have no idea where it is on a map because I was busy watching my dwarf dance in hot fondue…. After walking up the red carpet to the venue we had to wait around with the common folk drinking their…. What do they call those drinks…. I think they call them “fucking beers mate.” When we finally got to play we played our set of relaxing lounge-funk to a receptive crowd of respected individuals…. Then I partied like I was as poor as Bill Gates…. That poor poor man…. “oooh I own Microsoft… I’m rich n shit,” nobody cares William…. I own Mars bitch…. Not the company…. The planet.
Im bored of that now….. I can’t be held responsible for what I write….. I become a character and then they write thru me…. the show in Bunbury was quite raucous… it was a small venue and 450 people were crammed in there to party like it was…. Well a party…. After the gig we got shown to our rooms…. They were modest at best…. The rest of the night was filled with trombongs on the balcony and throwing a gridiron ball on the street down below….. the highlight was Ted nailing Brett (grates stage tech) sqware in the side of the face with a well thrown gridiron ball….. that effectively ended the night…. I had to go to the toilet at some stage during the night….. being the well prepared individual that I am I forgot to take a key or my phone with me…. if I had a decent memory that would have been fine…. But I don’t…. so I forgot which room I was in and didn’t want to knock on random doors….. so I slept on the couch in the lounge room place.
The next day we drove to Margaret river after climbing some big hill near the beach which was quite possibly the worst idea ever…. Although it did have one of those disc things that point the direction to random cities of the world….. and someone’s big nutsack…. The venue was freeeakin awesome….. they served the best food ever and were all super nice…. We had some time to kill…. Most normal people slept…. Ted went for a run cause he’s one of those disgusting healthy fit people…. Tim luke an pat went to a winery and the beach…. Apparently they are cultured…. Lies I tells ya! Lies! I’ve seen them do things that would make a bogan blush.* The show was the normal party that we had all come to expect from this tour…. It ended a lot earlier than usual… we ran out of rider and then just decided to go home and watch the Muppets in Manhattan…. Which is up there with Freefall starring Eric Roberts as one of the best films ever made.
Time was well spent on our causal drive towards perth…. We stopped at a boutique brewery for some delicious beer tasting…. A winery for some delicious wine tasting…. And a cheese shop for some delicious cheese tasting…. Then we made a great big convoy trucking through the W A! with the Vasco Era’s pimping van…. It may have looked good but our tarago owned it when drag racing at the lights…. Due to the fact that we were 5000 kms away from home and two hours behind I kinda assumed that they drove on the other side of the road…… boy was that a funny mistake…. I now have a statement to make….. “Perth nay all of WA that I’ve seen is kick ass!!!” its all pretty n stuff and green n watery and nice…. And the Capitol bar was absolutely shmucking packed…. The show was…. Well I’m not going to tell you…. You have to guess…. It starts with A and rhymes with foursome….. happy rhyming diary…. We were joined by the vasco era and the grates on stage for our last song to end our tour in happy happy fun times…. Then we joined the vasco era for our normal cover of sukkafish but for some reason were told to stay up for another song which we didn’t know how to play….. things kinda disintegrated… ending with me and ross on our knees hitting a cymbal that had fallen off its stand…. I was kinda focused on hurting the cymbal so I didn’t notice what was happening elsewhere on stage. During the grates set while most of us were up on the balcony we heard “and now the vasco era and the john steel singers are going to help us out!!” followed by cheers as only syd came out on stage as he was the only one near enough to get there on time….. lots of lols followed as we came out on stage for the last minute or so of the song…. But we made it up to him by actually joining him for 19-20-20 and ending the tour with a big drunken dance on stage. Was a whole lot of awesome fun n shit yo!
The next day me and ross had a romantic dinner of fish and chips as the sun set over the Indian ocean…. Then we touched the ocean… then ran away like little girls cause we didn’t want to get our shoes wet…. Somewhere along the way scott turned into an abusive pirate…. But he was nice to me…. I think he thought I was the reincarnation of Red beard cause I had forgotten my razor. Stupid pirate
Love pete
*I quite possibly could be thinking of something that I might have done and maybe just got kinda confused.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
flyding flyding driving flying
Dear Diary,
Sometimes late at night when I’m alone writing to you I like to think that I’m writing a book….. is that weird?? I had the best night sleep last night….. like 9 hours… it was amazing!!! Yet still I feel like shit…. Is that bad… meh.. I’m cool with it.
We played in woolonggngnong… I think that’s how you spell it… I thought it was a good show… the crowd was fairly small at the start but it swelled to massive (kinda big) proportions by the end of the set and when we played the last song (evolution) peeps were bopping and moving n whatnot… when the vasco era played Sukkafish two thirds of the band joined them… me an scott played horns, ross hit shit with sticks and luke played ambient guitar… by the end of the tour we’re aiming to have a 17 piece orchestra with us… well I am at least… I think the idea will fail like most half assed ideas I have along the lines of this… but I’m a dreamer so I will continue to dream…
Yesterday me an tim did an interview for What you Want on Channel V… it was pretty fun… I didn’t know what to expect… I think it airs today at around 4:30… but I’ve been known to be wrong before….. my personal highlight was finding a bottle of wine in the fridge… naturally I helped myself to a glass… then found out from the lovely make up lady that it was Merrick and Rosso’s… you know the two dudes who are hilarious… one doesn’t have a beard… the other one does… then sometimes he doesn’t… then sometimes he grows it back… it was delicious… tasted like stealing. And I do love stealing (I Don’t… really mum I don’t)
The other dudes in the band (scott, jesus and pat, that little dude) flew into Sydney at 1:30… due to us being delayed at Channel V (that’s what we told them) they had to wait for 3 hours at the airport…. I don’t know what they are complaining about… I’ve had to do that heaps of times…. Mainly when I miss my flights…. The secret is to fall asleep on the floor in an unused terminal and then wake up an hour or 2 later to find a whole bunch of people waiting for a flight….. the next thing you do is sit up, rub your eyes and then shake your head with a confused look on your face…. Grin nervously at the people close to you then get your stuff and stumble away…. Mission accomplished.
After we picked them up and Neil the awesome sound dude with the vasco era we drove to woolongngongnshdlkjghghaong…. Somehow made it in time… without speeding (honest mum I don’t speed)
After the show we drove back to Sydney…. I was in the back of the van…. I love sitting in the back… you can’t hear what peeps in the front are saying and misunderstand basic statements that they make ending in hilarious jokes…. For me mainly… mostly cause I think I’m hilarious (I do Mum….. honestly I do (not really (but seriously im hilarious))
Tonight we play the metro in Sydney…. I cannot wait…. Theres going to be a whole lot of awesome (I sure hope theres a lot of awesome)…. I promise.
Anywho… must go face the day and the sun and prolly get sunburnt walking about 30 metres…. I love having fair skin and red hair.
Love Pete
Sometimes late at night when I’m alone writing to you I like to think that I’m writing a book….. is that weird?? I had the best night sleep last night….. like 9 hours… it was amazing!!! Yet still I feel like shit…. Is that bad… meh.. I’m cool with it.
We played in woolonggngnong… I think that’s how you spell it… I thought it was a good show… the crowd was fairly small at the start but it swelled to massive (kinda big) proportions by the end of the set and when we played the last song (evolution) peeps were bopping and moving n whatnot… when the vasco era played Sukkafish two thirds of the band joined them… me an scott played horns, ross hit shit with sticks and luke played ambient guitar… by the end of the tour we’re aiming to have a 17 piece orchestra with us… well I am at least… I think the idea will fail like most half assed ideas I have along the lines of this… but I’m a dreamer so I will continue to dream…
Yesterday me an tim did an interview for What you Want on Channel V… it was pretty fun… I didn’t know what to expect… I think it airs today at around 4:30… but I’ve been known to be wrong before….. my personal highlight was finding a bottle of wine in the fridge… naturally I helped myself to a glass… then found out from the lovely make up lady that it was Merrick and Rosso’s… you know the two dudes who are hilarious… one doesn’t have a beard… the other one does… then sometimes he doesn’t… then sometimes he grows it back… it was delicious… tasted like stealing. And I do love stealing (I Don’t… really mum I don’t)
The other dudes in the band (scott, jesus and pat, that little dude) flew into Sydney at 1:30… due to us being delayed at Channel V (that’s what we told them) they had to wait for 3 hours at the airport…. I don’t know what they are complaining about… I’ve had to do that heaps of times…. Mainly when I miss my flights…. The secret is to fall asleep on the floor in an unused terminal and then wake up an hour or 2 later to find a whole bunch of people waiting for a flight….. the next thing you do is sit up, rub your eyes and then shake your head with a confused look on your face…. Grin nervously at the people close to you then get your stuff and stumble away…. Mission accomplished.
After we picked them up and Neil the awesome sound dude with the vasco era we drove to woolongngongnshdlkjghghaong…. Somehow made it in time… without speeding (honest mum I don’t speed)
After the show we drove back to Sydney…. I was in the back of the van…. I love sitting in the back… you can’t hear what peeps in the front are saying and misunderstand basic statements that they make ending in hilarious jokes…. For me mainly… mostly cause I think I’m hilarious (I do Mum….. honestly I do (not really (but seriously im hilarious))
Tonight we play the metro in Sydney…. I cannot wait…. Theres going to be a whole lot of awesome (I sure hope theres a lot of awesome)…. I promise.
Anywho… must go face the day and the sun and prolly get sunburnt walking about 30 metres…. I love having fair skin and red hair.
Love Pete
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